Tuesday, July 20, 2010

No One to Blame but Myself

Can I just say how much I wanted to stay in bed this morning? SOOOOOoooo much! 4:30 AM rolls around pretty quickly, especially if you’ve gone to bed later than normal. However, I managed to get up, go running, and have no regrets!

Last night, after an early morning run, long day at work, and hour-long rollerblading spree on the Lewiston Levee with friends, I went to another friend’s house and had some fun. Met new people, snacked on good food (love me some watermelon!), and played games. It was great to just sit on the back patio and relax as I sipped on water and the others drank pop, sangria, or jell-o shots (I have to ask: do you drink or do you eat jell-o shots?). Admittedly I didn’t stay too late (was on the road by 8:45PM), but I still had my commute, do odds and ends at home, and get ready for the next day.

So as the alarm went off and I slammed my hand down on it to silence it into sweet submission, I seriously considered rolling over and going back to sleep. One thing about me; however, is that once I’m up, it usually takes awhile for me to get back to sleep, so I knew I wouldn’t be returning to la-la-land anytime soon. And to be honest, I didn’t want to revisit the dream I was having.

SIDENOTE: If a police department asks you to read through old case files that aren’t in their computer system, organize each case, and scan them into their database as PDF’s, just say no. I am sick and tired of reading about missing people, found bodies, murders, sex offenses – especially those against kids, and all other facets of mankind’s worst nature. I only have two weeks left and this is one aspect of the job I won’t miss. All of these, wrapped up together, was the dream I was having – and the bad guys were winning.

As I got my running gear on, stumbled my way to the track, and tried to focus my bleary eyes, I kept on asking myself why I was getting up so early to do something I don’t like. The thing is, I don’t hate running. I will admit, due to sports I played though school, I am more of a short distance person (volleyball, basketball, softball, soccer [when you’re the goalie or full-back, you aren’t running as much as the strikers/forwards]). Yes, running a track is hard for me, and not a pretty picture, but I’m accomplishing something. I feel and see my distances improving and it’s getting easier to round each turn in the track in my quest to run just a little bit farther/faster each time. I may not have the graceful, long-legged lope of some runners, but my legs (again with the legs?) keep on moving and pushing me closer to my goal or destination. The pain, gasping for air, and pseudo-sunburned face after I exert myself don’t add up to the most ideal “rewards,” but the payoffs are coming. Some of the things I most treasure are those I have worked hardest for – and hopefully one day I can, with confidence, say that I am a runner. Ummm….just don’t wait for that anytime soon. ;-)

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