If we're going to be friends, there's a few things you should know about me...

1. I like speed: cars, boats, snowmobiles, rollerblades, talking fast...all of it.
2. I find it absurd that a two-story building has an elevator. (I know, I know -- ADA requirements). That absurdity; however, doesn't keep me from giggling as I ride the elevator between the floors -- yep, I did that today.
3. I love how certain words sound: majesty, fork, hypnopompic, ostensibly, and dumbhole are my current faves.
4. I love how ruthless and warped the sense of humor of police officers and emergency personnel is(myself included). If a fellow employee does something stupid, or something stupid happens to them, typically a number of us jump at the chance to gang up and prank the helpless victim, like a pack of wild hyenas with a wounded antelope in our sights. If you run into the side of a building while dinking around on one of our department motorcycles, yes, we will photoshop your head onto a picture of a billboard about motorcycle safety and email it to everyone we can think of as well as posting it up around the station. If you are a male detective who is too much of a wussy to take the hook out of the mouth of a fish you caught, and make a fellow officer do it for you, we will print off instructions on how to remove a fish hook as well as numerous pictures of little girls who seem to have no qualms about touching, catching, and even gutting the fish. (just a few examples from this last week)
5. No offense, but while I'm fine with listening to you explain your feelings and how you feel, please don't ask me to share mine. That does not come easy for me and if you nag me to do so, I will just become stubborn and shut down. That takes time for me to trust you enough...it's a defense mechanism.
6. Although I have a lot of friends, I can count, on one hand, the true friends I have that I will talk about my feelings with, feel completely comfortable around, and don't feel self conscious about being the big dweeb and nerd that I inherently am.
7. I have more feelings than just happiness. Although I may smile all the time and be willing to laugh at the drop of a hat, I do get angry, annoyed, sad, frustrated, embarrassed, and all the other gamut of emotions. But, unless you are one of my true friends -- or I'm really tired, you will only see the "happy" side of Patty. See #5 to better understand why.
8. People slipping and falling down (preferably on slick surfaces) cracks me up...every time.
9. While I can socialize with the best of them, I really am a homebody. Sure, I enjoy the occassional movie, dinner, game night, etc., but many times I would rather read a book or watch a movie at home than go to a party or meet up with friends. I like to be alone. Maybe part of it is because I grew up in a family of 10 children, and solitude was a rare commodity, but I look forward to going home, changing from my office clothes into jeans, t-shirt, and flip flops/slippers (depending on the weather), letting my hair down and just chilling.

I think that's a good start...still wanna apply for the position?