Let the Freak-Out Begin

September is here, and with it, Patty’s freak-out. Yep, I just referred to myself in the third person. Normally you’d think that because school's already been going for a couple of weeks that I’d be settling into things, but that is not the case. Right now I’m hanging on by the skin of my chinny-chin-chin. If I can just make it through the next few weeks I should be golden…or at least bronze. Yeah, I’ll settle for a bronze medal.
On September 13th I’ll be taking my language translation test for school. It’ll be a 90 minute test where I have to give a sentence-by-sentence translation of a German text into English. Honestly, I haven’t spoken or read any German since May, so pray for me. If I don’t pass it, I still have other opportunities to retake it…but time is running out.

September 17th is the deadline for my Teach For America paperwork. This is an organization that is part of AmeriCorps that trains and sends teachers to work in low income areas (both rural and urban). If I’m accepted into this highly competitive program, for two years I will be teaching somewhere (probably in the south) and they will help me get my teaching certificate as well as pay off some of my student loans. All of that on top of getting a teaching salary. This is my ideal situation, but, like I said, it’s highly competitive. Now if I can just finish my letter of intent and resume’…

And by September 30th? I need to submit my nine page thesis proposal. It’s not the length that is bothering me, because I can write nine pages in my sleep, it’s the research that needs to be done in preparation. I’m still not sure what my three – 20 page chapters are going to be about. My topic is still a rhetorical analysis of the relationship and convergence of religion and cellular telephones, but what aspects I want to analyze is still under debate. I think I need to just write it up and submit it. It’s not like what I propose is carved in stone and I can’t change it. It’s the impetus to start my thesis that I need, and thank heavens for deadlines! Without them I wouldn’t get anything done.

Oh, and by the way, in addition to teaching two sections of English 102, I’ve picked up another job. Sure, why not! Apparently I hate myself … or I can’t say no. Ideally it sounds like it won’t be a huge time suck, but we’ll see. I’m working for the distance learning coordinator for the entire University (one of my past professors who just got the position) and I’ll be reading student homework submissions to grade and give feedback. It’s just a couple of sections, and I’ll be making more money, so here’s hoping I can keep everything in the air and not let a ball drop. At least by the end of September one or two balls will no longer be in the mix. Sigh!

And I think I have it bad? When put into perspective of the medical issues my sister(s) and mom are going through, it’s but a moment and nothing that is life threatening. It’s those moments of clarity and perspective that ultimately keep me from stressing and freaking out. It’s only my education – which I can do-over or get an extension on – it’s not my physical life.

So to those who have it worse off than me? I’ll stop complaining and work on accentuating the positive!