Monday, June 1, 2009

Are there really that many one-legged people in the world?

Already a busy morning. I was woken up, not by my alarm, but by my sister asking if I could take one of her dogs into the vet to get a leg looked at and re-stitched. This will be the third time in a week this dog, a black lab named Ash, has visited the vet. Being the nice person I am I woke up and turned of my alarm--we all know I didn't need it anymore this morning--got dressed and took the little poop to the vet. Ash did need to be stitched up again (I guess when the vet tells you not to let the dog lick/scratch their stitches they mean it). In order to combat the damage I headed right over to Petco--where the pets go--and got a lovely halo-collar-thingy. The dog accessory that makes people think your dog is either 1) mentally handicapped 2) a rabid beast or 3) pathetic and/or miserable. Ash is definitely #3. We then returned home and have been cuddling on the couch. Ash really does look miserable. When she walks she just hangs her head down like the collar weighs six thousand pounds! Who knew dogs could be so dramatic.

Anyway, back to the title of this posting: Are there really that many one-legged people in the world? Seriously. While playing pet taxi driver I've already seen three random shoes in the middle of the road. At what point in your life do you not recognize you are missing a shoe? Are you that drunk? In a bout of "craziness" did you decide to reenact your late night escapades at a strip club? Did your friends tackle you in the car and strip your clothes off you, tossing them out the car window as they drove down the street (NOTE: there were no other clothes on the roadway to substantiate this hypothesis)? Or are there really that many one-legged people who, after buying a pair of shoes, decide to just toss the superfluous shoe out the window?

Maybe this is one of those questions we'll never really know the answer to. That and why are we asked to call a phone number if our total is incorrect in the Taco Bell drive-through, wouldn't we just tell the employee at the window taking our money and giving us food? Hmm....

3 comments:

Julie said...

Ha ha! That was hilarious! I was laughing the entire time...your poor pooch :( I've always wondered about the mysterious shoes scattering the highways. Do people just drive with their feet (or foot) hanging out the window? That would make driving akward. On a side note...did you get your diploma in the mail yet?

Patty said...

I haven't. I hope I graduated! Have you?

Mother 25 - 8 said...

I'm Matt Lassen's wife and just added you on FB. He kept telling me how funny you were so I started reading your blog. Hilarious!!! I may follow this one!