Do Student Drivers Really Have THAT Much Power?

So....I woke up late for work yesterday and was rushing (not excessively speeding, mind you) across town in a futile effort to get to work on time. As I'm driving 45-ish in a 45 MPH zone I suddenly came to a clog of cars on the road. No one was going over 40 MPH...no one. I switched lanes in hopes that my new lane would be going just a little bit faster so I could inch my way closer to work. I assummed, naturally, that there was a law enforcement vehicle (city, county, state police, etc.) in the lane so everyone was meticulously checking their speedometers and avoiding a traffic ticket.

However, since I worked for a police department for 8+ years and realize that cops are people too, I understand that going a few miles over the speed limit AND PASSING A COP ON THE ROAD will not automatically make you the proud recipient of a speeding ticket.

Back to my story...so the lane I was in was going a little faster than the other lane and when I was able to see who was actually going the speed limit and slowing down all of the traffic I saw, not a police vehicle, but a student driver. WHAT?!?!?!? Since when are student drivers on par with police officers?

After thinking about this I've come to the conclusion that, in an effort to be a good example to the student driver, all the other drivers actually followed the rules of the road (aka: mirror check, head check, signal, etc.). Maybe there was a sudden and inexplicable outpouring of empathy from everyone as they mentally reverted back to their days as a newbie driver in a car.

I don't know, but I was gobsmacked. C'mon people! I'm late for work! Needless to say I eventually passed the student driver and continued on my merry, law breaking way.

NOTE: Just to reassure you, Mom and Dad, I really wasn't a speed demon...just a handful of miles over the speed limit...and I was only 15 minutes late. Not bad considering I woke up 15 minutes before I was supposed to be at work!

Beware: It's a jungle out there

I'll admit that as I'm writing this I'm supposed to be working at my office (temp) job...but I need a break from folding 500+ monthly statements and stuffing envelopes.

So as I've been "working", I've been people watching out the window. In my voyeuristic pursuits I was watching the mailman (mailperson if you want to be politically correct) getting the office mail from the mailbox. At that moment I realized the mailman (because he is actually a man) was wearing a pith helmet.

Someone answer me this, since when has a pith helmet been needed to pick up and deliver mail? Are so many cats chasing you down the street in their desire to thwart the delivery of the mail so numerous that head protection is needed? Is it so dangerous to open and shut mailbox doors and lower flags? Is the threat of papercuts so prevalent that head protection is needed? I think not.

What's next, office cleaning crews wearing Haz-Mat suits? Okay...that one I can see, especially if they're headed into the bathrooms.

Um, I think my water broke...

So those were the words I heard at my temporary office job right after lunch. The girl I'm covering for has been having contractions for over a week (not steady and not for extended periods of time) and then she calmly informed me her water broke. Okay, so as an E-911 operator I have given instructions over the phone to assist childbirth, give CPR, call in a SWAT team, etc., but I was not prepared for those words, "Um, I think my water broke."

Needless to say a bunch of phone calls were made (doctor, husband, father, mother, in-laws, etc.) and the expectant Amanda was headed to the hospital. A scant 3.5 hours later her little girl, Taya, was born. Welcome to the world!

So the calendar is counting down and Grad school is fast approaching. In addition to still figuring out where to live (anyone have a friend of a friend of a cousin thrice removed that's looking to rent to someone at a reasonable price?) I got my reading list for my "Rhetorics of New Media" English class. Um, who ever thought that a book entitled Remix: Making Art and Commerce Thrive in the Hybrid Economy would be an interesting read? Or how about The Economics of Attention: Style and Substance in the Age of Information. I don't recall that on the New York Times Bestseller list. What happened to great books by authors like Poe, Hawthorne, Tan, Sinclair, Pound, Morrison, etc?

Oh well, my lot isn't to complain, but to acquire more knowledge...and torture the college Freshman English classes I teach in the fall. -insert evil cackle here- Let the fun begin!

Must...Keep...Going......

I am a wuss. I fully admit it and don't understand how people do it. I am sooooooo tired right now I'm having problems keeping my eyes open and typing this blog. I have now acquired two jobs and am working 60+ hours a week. While that's good for the pocket, it's bad for the relaxation as I literally work every day of the week. A slow day is only 5 hours of work, while a busy day requires me to be up between 6 & 6:30 am to get dressed and make it to my job at 8am where I work until 5pm and then rush (not agressive driving rush, but constantly looking at the clock in the car rush) to my next job where I work until 11pm, all to wake up and do it over again the next day.

ZZZZZZZZzzzzzz..............................................

what? Oh, sorry. I fell asleep there.

What was I saying? Who cares...I'm headed to bed.

Peace out!

Are there really that many one-legged people in the world?

Already a busy morning. I was woken up, not by my alarm, but by my sister asking if I could take one of her dogs into the vet to get a leg looked at and re-stitched. This will be the third time in a week this dog, a black lab named Ash, has visited the vet. Being the nice person I am I woke up and turned of my alarm--we all know I didn't need it anymore this morning--got dressed and took the little poop to the vet. Ash did need to be stitched up again (I guess when the vet tells you not to let the dog lick/scratch their stitches they mean it). In order to combat the damage I headed right over to Petco--where the pets go--and got a lovely halo-collar-thingy. The dog accessory that makes people think your dog is either 1) mentally handicapped 2) a rabid beast or 3) pathetic and/or miserable. Ash is definitely #3. We then returned home and have been cuddling on the couch. Ash really does look miserable. When she walks she just hangs her head down like the collar weighs six thousand pounds! Who knew dogs could be so dramatic.

Anyway, back to the title of this posting: Are there really that many one-legged people in the world? Seriously. While playing pet taxi driver I've already seen three random shoes in the middle of the road. At what point in your life do you not recognize you are missing a shoe? Are you that drunk? In a bout of "craziness" did you decide to reenact your late night escapades at a strip club? Did your friends tackle you in the car and strip your clothes off you, tossing them out the car window as they drove down the street (NOTE: there were no other clothes on the roadway to substantiate this hypothesis)? Or are there really that many one-legged people who, after buying a pair of shoes, decide to just toss the superfluous shoe out the window?

Maybe this is one of those questions we'll never really know the answer to. That and why are we asked to call a phone number if our total is incorrect in the Taco Bell drive-through, wouldn't we just tell the employee at the window taking our money and giving us food? Hmm....