Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Pfvmlte(*^*%&%&$8Bslkjt!!!!

Seriously, as I wandered onto my blog and realized how long it had been since I've posted, I was amazed. Again, the slippery little snake of time is a tough bugger to catch!

So the brief recap of the last six months? Well, we had Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years ( declared 2013 the year of Patty!), my birthday, Valentines, St. Patrick's, my dad died, my parents shoulda-coulda-woulda 53rd anniversary, the 1 year anniversary of my mom's death, spring semester teaching finished, and Mother's Day.

It's been a tough year, but it's also been a good year. My parents are together again with no pain, my family is closer than they've been in a very long time, and I'm happy. Actually, I'm more than that, I'm joyful! I am taking the time to reacquaint myself with me. So much of the past year and a half has been spent focusing on others, that I've lost a bit of myself in the process. Now I am deciding what I like to do, see, read, listen to, etc.

In the past two-ish months since my dad's funeral, I've created a pile of books that I hope to read in the future...for fun! I can imagine a number of my students rolling their eyes as they try to grapple with the idea that reading is fun, but it is, or rather it used to be, fun for me. It's been years since I've really sat down and enjoyed a book. So far I've read two biographies, a Jane Austen book , a couple of mind candy-esque pop-fiction things (not a fan), and I'm in the midst of reading a historical thriller. So I'm reading a wide range of books figuring out what I enjoy.

Getting out and dusting off the 'ol tools has also been fun. Putting shelves up
, fixing things around the apartment, etc. is relaxing. I enjoy seeing a task accomplished and making things function better. My dad was never one to shy away from teaching his daughters how to change tires, use power tools, or work hard, and I am very thankful for that.

I'm also trying to be more social. Spending time with actual people more my age, walking around Moscow, going on walks/hikes with my dog, going to church, etc. Instead of sitting by a sick/hospital bed waiting to fulfill the wishes of another, I'm making a conscious effort to be out in the world and experience it!

Sure, I'd love to wallow in my comfort zone of chilling at home in jeans, tee, and slippers as I watch tv on my computer, but this is my year, dang it! And I'm going to do stuff! That's not to say it's easy for me to walk into a room and "work a crowd". Trust me, it's not. But one of the sayingsI live by is "fake it 'til you make it." So I'm working on changing myself into the person I want to and can be. Sometimes it's all an act, but each time I "fake it", it's one step closer to being true.

4 comments:

Chris said...

"Fake it until you make it". Now THOSE are words to live by. I thought I was the only one in the family to live by that mantra :) Love the update, hon!

Lindsay said...

I absolutely love this post. Amen to everything you said.

Anonymous said...

I'm so excited for you and for whats to come in the year of Patty! It will be fun to see what you do. If you ever feel like exploring the portland area, we'd love to have you! Plus some of the best hikes are over here. Just sayin!

Mal said...

I'm with Lindsay--great post! And isn't it funny how you get so busy with things you started doing because you enjoy them (I'm thinking reading/teaching/writing literature) that you end up finding that you don't really like it much any more and you kind of have to start over with it? Good luck to you with your year of Patty and I'm glad you're posting again--I love to read your blog whenever you do!