Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Calm Before the Storm

I realized, today, that it is less than a month before I graduate. I. Graduate.

Um, my mind is pretty much spazzing out at that idea. I quit a job I loved to go back to school, finished my undergrad, went on to get my masters, and now my goal will be accomplished in less than a month.

Now what?

Alright. Maybe it's not right to start asking "now what" since there's still so much to cram into this final month (less than a month, actually) of school. I have one final assignment, two presentations, and project for one class; I'm writing a creative piece for another class (that ought to be interesting); I'm finalizing my thesis and defending it in 10 days; and I still have 4 more classes to teach. So trust me, there's still a lot to do.

However, I've basically had my life planned out for the last five years and now I feel like I'm in limbo because in less than a month I'll be goal-less. I plan on getting my PhD right now because, well, I need a break. But what to do?

I seriously considered applying for a job at the City of Lewiston Fire Department, as an Administrative Assistant (basically the same job I had five years ago, just in a different department), but ultimately decided not to. Why? Well, I LOVE the area I'm in (Moscow/Pullman, Lewiston/Clarkston), but what would have been the point of all of my education if I just slipped right into the same job I had before? Where would be my growth?

I've applied for three teaching jobs at community colleges and a couple of adjunct teaching positions at universities. Whether or not I get them is up in the air, but I need to trust that something will come along that will utilize my degree. I need to trust that I will be fine. I need to trust that falling back into old habits and relying on what is "comfortable" isn't always the best. I need to trust in myself, my abilities, and my tenacity to set a goal and achieve it -- this obstacle, or opportunity for change, is no different.

It's just scarier!

So rather than fret and worry about my "plan" after graduation, I need to buckle down and focus my gaze on what needs to be done in order to ensure I graduate. Now is not the time to mess it all up!


Jodi said...

I can't wait to see what the future hold for you smarty pants!
I hope you're still within the quad cities when we come back!

Mal said...

FYI, even if you do go back to the same job, there is growth.

But aside from that, I think you would be an awesome teacher. In fact, why didn't you work on a masters at BYU-I so you could teach one of my classes? HMMMMMMM?! And I don't want to hear any of this, "Masters? At BYU-I?" stuff!