I realized, today, that it is less than a month before I graduate. I. Graduate.
Um, my mind is pretty much spazzing out at that idea. I quit a job I loved to go back to school, finished my undergrad, went on to get my masters, and now my goal will be accomplished in less than a month.
Alright. Maybe it's not right to start asking "now what" since there's still so much to cram into this final month (less than a month, actually) of school. I have one final assignment, two presentations, and project for one class; I'm writing a creative piece for another class (that ought to be interesting); I'm finalizing my thesis and defending it in 10 days; and I still have 4 more classes to teach. So trust me, there's still a lot to do.
However, I've basically had my life planned out for the last five years and now I feel like I'm in limbo because in less than a month I'll be goal-less. I plan on getting my PhD right now because, well, I need a break. But what to do?
I seriously considered applying for a job at the City of Lewiston Fire Department, as an Administrative Assistant (basically the same job I had five years ago, just in a different department), but ultimately decided not to. Why? Well, I LOVE the area I'm in (Moscow/Pullman, Lewiston/Clarkston), but what would have been the point of all of my education if I just slipped right into the same job I had before? Where would be my growth?
I've applied for three teaching jobs at community colleges and a couple of adjunct teaching positions at universities. Whether or not I get them is up in the air, but I need to trust that something will come along that will utilize my degree. I need to trust that I will be fine. I need to trust that falling back into old habits and relying on what is "comfortable" isn't always the best. I need to trust in myself, my abilities, and my tenacity to set a goal and achieve it -- this obstacle, or opportunity for change, is no different.
It's just scarier!
So rather than fret and worry about my "plan" after graduation, I need to buckle down and focus my gaze on what needs to be done in order to ensure I graduate. Now is not the time to mess it all up!