Happy Holidays?

As I avoid grading by writing this post, I'd have to answer the question above by saying "Yes," but with qualifications.

You know it's been a tough holiday season when spending the night in the hospital feels like the "norm."

No, I haven't hurt myself or anything, but we discovered right before Thanksgiving that my mom has Stage 4 pancreatic cancer. It's spread to her liver and lymph nodes. It's terminal, so nothing can be done but make her as comfortable as we can and spend as much time as possible with her.

While a lot of tears have been shed (and will continue to), I keep on having a saying, supposedly attributed to Dr. Seuss, run through my head: "Don't be sad that it's over. Smile because it happened." I'm trying to keep that spirit in mind.

The likelihood of me not being sad when my mom dies, or goes through this physical struggle, is zero. I mean, she's my mom, off course I'll be sad. But at the same time, I smile because I was (and still am) lucky to have her for my mom. I am blessed to have a constant cheerleader in my corner, a wonderful example of patience and perseverance (she and my dad raised ten kids, have been married over 50 years, and they have a combined 30+ grand and great-grandchildren), and someone who's quiet composure masks a woman who can let loose verbal zingers that take you aback and can make you laugh at the same time. And to think most of us kids blame , ahem, attribute our sense of humor to our dad. Mom's got a doozy of one too!

So, as I'm in the midst of the holiday season, feeling sorry for myself and the unexpected trips to the hospital ER because we find out another quirk to my mom's prognosis (hello blood clots!), I am trying to focus on family, because that is the opportunity this diagnosis has provided my family. The chance to say what we want and feel both to our mom and each other; to reconnect; and to bond over how wonderful our mom, and our dad, really are.

This isn't the ideal scenario, but I'm smiling because wonderful things are coming out of this horrible situation and because of the wonderful woman my mom is.

Arthritis, Trains, and Bad Weather...all in one!

Rheumatoid. That was the word on my mind when I woke up this morning. I was going to post a picture, but I really didn't see anything that anyone would find visually appealing. With a word like "rheumatoid" I wonder what I was dreaming about. I sure hope Adam isn't letting himself go.

I know it's the month of Thanksgiving and the holiday season is upon us, so I should be swept up in the holiday cheer with everyone else, but right now I'm just tired. While I am emotionally and intellectually tired, right now I'm mostly physically tired. Unfortunately, I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel that is any closer than two and a half weeks out. That's how much time I have left in my first semester being a "real" college instructor.

Oooooohhh! That sounded kinda cool and impressive -- and it is (I mean, sometimes I wondered if I'd make it through my Masters program). Honestly I do love my job and most  all of my students. Admittedly I've struggled liking some of them, but I'm happy to say I know all of their names, "problem" students have endeared themselves to me, and I'm excited to see what next semester's rascally bunch is going to throw my way.

Lately I've felt on edge, turbulent, and as though I've been spinning my wheels but not getting any traction. My mind has often thought of this picture, if you look closely you can see the man in the doorway. My sister has this on her wall and she has included the saying: Sometimes God calms the storm and sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms his child.

While I've always been a fan of turbulent weather -- particular on a beach or coastline somewhere -- I'm not sure if I'm as appreciative of it in my mind and life.

Right now I am hoping for a break in the storm, but I understand that it's going to rage for awhile longer. I just hope I can appreciate the lulls in the coming weeks and months and can find a port to drop anchor.

Reasons Why I Like Teaching

Yes, I will be the first to admit that teaching is a stressful, sometimes thankless, and draining job. Seriously, I come home thinking that there's no way I can "perform" any longer. I don't know of a lot of actors/actresses who perform four hours straight 2+ times a week. Some days I think I should be on Broadway! I embrace my English nerd-dom, but even I am not genuinely interested, excited, and pumped up about English that much and for such an extended period. Yep, I act a lot.

But enough about that, this post is supposed to be about why I like teaching, in spite of everything else:

1. I love to see a student get interested in something they thought was pointless and boring.
2. Immediate validation. Instantly I can tell if what I am doing is connecting with my students or not.
3. I can wear jeans if I want. Simple pleasures people.
4. I get to "hang out" and joke around with my students.
5. I learn something new. Every. Day. Maybe it's a small piece of knowledge, but I love to learn, and I appreciate the variety of backgrounds and perspectives my students bring to discussions and their papers.
6. Validation...again. I love hearing from a student that "English is my favorite class. There's no way I'm going to miss it." Awww...
7. I love to see the light turn on in their heads as they finally "get" something they haven't really understood since high school, or earlier (i.e. organization, thesis statements, rhetoric, etc.).
8. I get "holidays" off. Now, this doesn't mean I don't work (and heaven knows I'm going to be working my tail off during Thanksgiving Break grading papers), but I genuinely get to appreciate the Christmas holiday -- and other days when school is closed.
9. If I don't want to go to class, I don't have to...but I do anyway. I guess it's just the "freedom" of knowing that I can cancel class if I need to. "Need" being the operative word. 
10. I can have meaningful, thoughtful, insightful, and challenging conversations every day with my colleagues. Ah...adult conversation!

Those are only ten of a number of reasons why I like to teach. They aren't, by any means, the only reasons, but they're the one's that have been swirling around in my head.

What's the deal?

Have you ever woken up from a dream just mad? I've woken up crying before. I've woken up smiling. I've even woken myself up laughing, but I don't remember waking up mad...at least while remembering my dream. This morning? Yep, I'm just mad.

I guess Adam Levine (the lead singer of Maroon 5) will do that to you.

Okay, so maybe it wasn't Adam's fault. Yes, we are on a first name basis now. But the dude came and took the draft of my almost finished master's thesis away because apparently my topic was too inflammatory.

A. Why was Adam Levine doing that...or even in my dream?
and 2. I've finished my thesis. Yep. Signed, sealed, sent to the printers and I have the diploma. So why was I dreaming about it?

Of course I was too stunned at what was going on to say anything when Adam took the thesis, and all of my notes, away. I'm not sure if it was the fact my thesis topic was too controversial, Adam Levine was in my dream, or that he taught at my university (Information Systems Technology -- don't ask because I don't know).

He did eventually give it back, but when he did I told him, "Thank you Adam, but I don't really like you right now. I know you are only the messenger, but I really don't like you right now." He looked sad, but I was still mad.

All in all it turned out well, and I had a kickin' soundtrack to go with this dream, but now I'm worried about Adam.

We didn't leave the dream world on the best of terms. Do you think he'll ever get over it?

Slack -Attack!

Alright, I will fully admit that I have been slacking in the "keep the blog updated...or at least post once a month" department. I could say I was busy, but that would be a lie. I could say I didn't have much to post about, but that's a poor excuse since I've written about such mundane things as letters sticking on my keyboard. Yep, no excuses.

Why haven't I written then? Laziness. Yep, I'm lazy. Or rather, when I get home I am lazy and don't want to do anything more than watch Hulu.com, let Pinterest suck hours of my life away, or sleep. Mostly the first two and occasionally the third.

The biggest news I have to share is that this past week was the first week of classes...and I'm NOT the student! Yay! Admittedly it's a huge adjustment for me because I seem to keep wondering when I should start reading my assignments and/or start working on a paper. How about half past NEVER! Or half past not right now?

So I am under a nine month contract at Washington State University (WSU) where, this semester, I teach three English 101 Introductory Writing courses and one English 402 Business and Technical Writing course. I have to say that the juxtaposition between my 402 juniors and seniors and 101 freshmen is hilarious to me. Seeing their attitudes, how they approach homework and assignments, and participate in class is really interesting. I already have my 402 class presenting on Monday and my 101 students don't have anything due until Thursday...and that's just a really rough draft!

Either way, I actually enjoy both classes and feel lucky that I have the two different ones to teach. It's nice to have a break and not teach the same thing four times in a row in the same day...three is my limit!

So as my semester continues I'm sure I'll have anecdotes to share with you, but here's my first one:

I went to the WSU campus the Sunday before classes began so I could see where my classrooms were and I was amazed by how many students were also doing the same thing. I felt like I was a prospective high school freshman again getting ready to try and traverse the huge high school campus...wondering if I was going to be late to classes and wondering how mean the teachers were going to be.

Now I'm the teacher....hehehe!